On the Eve of Valentine’s Day: Customs of Love and Marriage in Central Asia
On the eve of Valentine’s Day, Central Asia is once again debating whether to celebrate the holiday or regard it as a symbol of foreign influence. Yet the region has its own rich and diverse customs related to love, matchmaking, and marriage. Accusations of Alien Influence and “Corruption” Valentine’s Day, like Halloween, spread to the former Soviet republics after the collapse of the USSR. In the first decades, young people embraced the new holidays. In recent years, however, critics have increasingly argued that commemorating a Catholic saint in a format centered on romantic love contradicts the traditions of the region’s peoples. For example, in Kazakhstan last year, deputies of the Mazhilis, the lower house of parliament, sharply criticized Valentine’s Day. Some deputies argued that it corrupts young people, promotes “free love,” and even carries “homosexual overtones.” It is worth noting that Kazakhstan recently adopted legislation prohibiting so-called “propaganda of non-traditional sexual relations.” The Spiritual Administration of Muslims of Kazakhstan has also stated that Valentine’s Day promotes alien values and encourages promiscuity. Gratitude for Raising a Daughter Many matchmaking and marriage customs remain common across Central Asia, particularly the significant role of the bride’s and groom’s parents in ceremonies and celebrations. While traditions have evolved, many are still practiced in modern engagements and weddings. The well-known custom of paying bride price, kalym, has been preserved, though it has undergone significant change. Today, kalym varies depending on the wealth of the families. It may include apartments or cars, or it may amount to several hundred dollars. Importantly, kalym is now generally regarded as financial support for the young family and, as a rule, remains at the disposal of the bride and groom. Historically, in Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, kalym was paid in livestock, and wedding celebrations could last more than a month. One of the main Kazakh wedding rituals is the groom’s visit to the bride’s village or, in modern practice, her home. Before his first visit, the groom sends gifts to the bride’s family, known as Ilu, an expression of gratitude for raising their daughter. In some regions of Kazakhstan, this ritual is called ana suty (“mother’s milk payment”). In the past, it included horses, camels, sheep, and riding equipment for the bride’s father. Today, it may consist of any valuable gift, and jewelry is often presented to the women in the bride’s family. The bride traditionally gives the groom a scarf as a symbol of her purity. Festivities then begin, with singing and dancing. Kazakh traditions often involve two weddings: one at the bride’s home and one at the groom’s. The bride’s farewell from her family home remains especially significant, reflecting her relatives’ wishes for her future life. Today, this ceremony is often held in a restaurant. The bride does not wear a white wedding dress at the farewell celebration but appears in an elegant outfit and a traditional headdress known as a saukele. During the farewell, the groom and his friends are subjected to playful pranks, for which they must...
